"What Are You?" Counseling Multiethnic Christians to Respond to Questions Regarding Their Ethnic Identity

The issues of ethnic identity and misidentification are topics of concern for many multiethnic individuals because they do not necessarily resemble one—or sometimes either—of their parents. Additionally, the blending of their diverse ancestries may obscure aspects of their ethnic heritage, or cause them to resemble another people group to which they are not related.[1] Misidentification can be a source of frustration if the issue is iterative, and variations of the question “what are you?” can become a source of irritation.
Counselees who struggle with the issue of misidentification will need to put several principles into practice in order to avoid as much frustration as possible.[2] First, they must recall that all Christians must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger in their interactions with others (cf. Jas. 1:19). Some questioners will focus on the issue of ethnicity out of spite, or because they view a multiethnic person as “something other than them.” Others, however, merely are interested in learning more about the multiethnic person, or are ignorant that such questions may be offensive. Regardless of the particular situation, people will continue to ask multiethnic people about their backgrounds whether they like it or not, so they must learn to respond appropriately to each challenge as it presents itself.
A multiethnic person’s first reaction to the question “what are you?” should not be to assume that the person is trying to offend  or stigmatize them, but should evaluate the situation based on the questioner’s demeanor, tone of voice, and other observable clues. The situation, although potentially unpleasant, can lead to a teachable moment. The counselee has an opportunity to engage the questioner about ethnicity and multiethnicy, and may even be able to assist the person not to be so presumptuous in the future. In the event that disrespect is intended, believers do not have an excuse to sin by responding in a manner that is not pleasing to Christ. Instead, a loving admonition may be necessary, along with the removal of themselves from the offensive situation.
Potential questions to explore with multiethnic Christians include: 1) How do I usually respond to people who ask me about my identity? Provide examples. 2) Have I sinned in the manner in which I respond to people who ask me about my identity? If so, how? 3) What does James 1:19 teach regarding the manner in which I must listen and speak? 4) How ought I to respond when people innocently ask me about my heritage? 6) How ought I to respond when people ridicule my multiethnic heritage? 7) How might I use my multiethnic heritage to honor Christ and to serve as a bride builder?

[1] For example, on two separate occasions I have counseled Hispanic-Anglo children who regularly are labeled as Arabic by new acquaintances.
[2] People should be more sensitive in the way they broach the subject of ethnicity with multiethnic people. Since, however, some inevitably will say things that are insensitive to multiethnic people, they must learn how to handle these challenges as they present themselves.

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